I Wish

I wish that I didn't have a mood disorder so that I wouldn't have had to take a medication that worked well but that I wish wasn't dangerous to my health so that I wish I wouldn't have had to change medications so that I wish I wasn't half emotionally unstable and half fuzzy-headed so that I wish I could focus and not panic when it comes to applying to graduate schools which wouldn't be so bad except I wish that I hadn't been having nightmares and insomnia every night since I stopped taking my previous medication and I wish that my friends didn't live at least 40 minutes away and I wish that I had more time to see them and to relax and to work on something that isn't related to preparations for graduate school and I wish I could be myself again so that I could focus on the fact that all of this means that I have a great job, a bright future, reliable and affordable access to health care, and family and friends that I love spending time with.

I wish it were next May.