Spiritual Makeover

Trevor and I have been having a lot of problems with our current church of late, which is a comparatively moderate evangelical church he's been going to since he was like eight years old. I have never been much for evangelism, but I wanted to be with Trevor and some other friends and family who go there, and after my parents converted from Catholicism to Episcopalianism, I wasn't quite sure where I stood on the Christianity scale.

Things were fine at the evangelical church, but after a while the underlying politics began to bother us. It was obvious that most of the congregation were conservative. The fact that the pastor is from Texas did not help that: he is very much a down home Texan Christian with his high school sweetheart as his housewife and two frighteningly timid and obedient children. But that's his choice and if that works for him, fine. He was adamant that politics should not be brought into church: he confronted Trevor for wearing a shirt that said "Who Governs the Government?" on it and pointed him to a Bible passage that tells us not to question our leaders because God puts them in power. Trevor was not happy, but he stopped wearing the shirt. This man believes that the Iraq War is God's will.

After all of that, and the fact that members of my Uncle's family (who also go to that church) told my sister that she was a sinner because she's a lesbian, and all of the blatant conservatism, prejudice, and unwillingness to question the status quo, we were still putting up with this church.

And then things got personal. Trevor drums for the Worship Team, which provides music for the service. He has been doing this for years, and not once has his opinion been taken seriously regarding what type of music they should play, when they should practice, etc. They held a big meeting about where the Team was going, and basically it was a big "Trevor isn't a team player" bitchfest. In addition, the Pastor pulled Trevor aside and expressed his concerns about the fact that Trevor and I are living together and not married. Trevor politely brushed them off, though he was angry. Apparently Trevor's a "role model" in the church, and "the younger young adults look up to him," so he can't be seen to be living in sin.

This put us on our guard, but again, we weren't sure we would leave the church over it. And then my Uncle confronted Trevor over the same thing, though his concern was more personal and less holier-than-thou. Still, it was frustrating. He wants us to get married as soon as possible! Trevor assured him that we intend to get married, but when we're ready, not when someone else says we should be.

And the sermons are boring and no one talks about anything real or does anything in the community or allows for anything to not have an absolute predefined Biblical answer.

So we went to St. John's on Sunday, which is an Episcopal church up the street from our apartment. What a difference! Like night and day. The building itself is beautiful, they had Camp Quiote (a traveling homeless camp) in their parking lot temporarily, the service (music included) was pleasant and everyone seemed very nice. Trevor had some trouble with all of the ceremony and recitation left over from Catholicism, but it wasn't taken nearly so seriously as at a Catholic church.

The best part, though, was the sermon. It was like God had planned for Trevor to be there on that day and for that reading to come up in the calendar and that sermon to be preached to us. It was about questioning authority. The Pastor at our old church told us not to question authority because it is put in place by God. The man who delivered this sermon said that there are three types of authority: intrinsic, gifted, and usurped. For example, God has intrinsic authority: he has authority because he is God. He gifts Jesus with all of his authority. Jesus' authority is also therefore legitimate. But the Pharisees' authority is usurped. It is perfectly reasonable to question usurped authority (including that of Politicians and other earthly authoritators).

Needless to say, Trevor was won over, and I was ecstatic. We are now thinking of moving to St. John's permanently as soon as Trevor can fairly step down from the Worship Team. We're also thinking of writing to the Sermonizer and thanking him. So it was quite the eventful Sunday!

Asshattery

Boss-related E-Mail Antics

(Boss asked me if I had finished work from previous day.)

Me: I did all of that! Maybe I don't need you after all!

[Boss 1]: You need me. I'm the senior partner. I control everything.

Me: I don't know if you've ever seen Buffy or Angel, but there's an evil law firm that protects demons and bad people from the law using evil lawyering! The "Senior Partners" are majorly powerful demons! Now I am afraid of you.

[Boss 1]: You are right to fear me. Did you ever see Devil's Advocate, starring Keanu Reaves as a lawyer and Al Pacino as the devil?

Me: Are you saying you're secretly Keanu Reeves? Now I really am scared! Also, I suppose for NaNoWriMo I could just do 50,000 words of freewriting related to the story I'm working on already. Feels like cheating. But what's the point of starting something new if you've got something good going?

[Boss 1]: Exactly. If I do NaNoWriMo, that's what I'm doing. I'll be open about it, but I'm planning to use it to make some progress.

Me: Write an evil story about being evil.

[Boss 1]: Stories aren't evil. People are evil.

Me: Stories can be evil if evil people write them. You de-Manek [Pronounced "Demonic" -- Manek is Boss 1's first name] man.

[Boss 1]: I disagree. For example, Norman Mailer was kind of a jerk. So was Hemingway. And don't even ask about Jane Austen--she was positively malevolent. But their stories aren't evil.

Me: There's a difference between being a jerk and being evil. Brad Pitt wasn't a jerk in "Meet Joe Black," but he was totally evil! Also hot.

[Boss 1]: William Safire says "hot" is no longer cool. Kids these days say "fierce." Have you heard that?

Me: No. But I'm old. Also, I was never cool. I will always say "hot." P.S. Keanu Reeves is totally who is playing you in our feature film, "Outraged on Your Behalf: The Backlund & Mistry Story."

[Boss 1]: He is so fierce. Will it be Keanu from the Matrix? Or the gum-chewing bulked-up cop Keanu from Speed? P.S. I think he's taller than me.

Me: I think Matrix Keanu. In a suit. With long hair and sunglasses. P.S. Everyone's taller than you.

[Boss 1]: Um. I don't think you're taller than me.

Me: I'm not trying to play you in a movie.

[Boss 1]: Touche.

Still Not 100%

It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do. It probably would've done more if I had been able to fall asleep at 10:30 or 11:00 like I planned instead of 11:30 or 12:00. But I do feel mostly better. Now I just have to get through work, go home, go to the gym, shower, eat dinner, and plan out the rest of my life.

When I say "plan out the rest of my life," I mean that Trevor and I have decided that we're going to try to find time this evening to do some major planning regarding the next 5-10 years. We need to figure out Trevor's projected graduation date, what year we're going to try to enter grad school, where we might go for grad school, when the average application deadline is, what exams we have to take beforehand, how much money we should save up, when it would be most prudent to get married, etc, etc. It's a little daunting, but it has to be done. I've already done some brainstorming and a good amount of research, so hopefully we can take care of some of the basics tonight.

What a weird week so far.

Ingredients for Making a Pre-Lithium Maddo

1. A day spent reading or writing
   
2. An unsettling social situation
3. Nostalgia in waves
   
4. Insomnia like whoa
5. Coincidences involving iTunes and iPod shuffle functions
   

Presto! It's like I'm not even on drugs. Pre-Lithum Maddo might do any of the following:

1. Tear up when she misses the bus.
2. Zone out for minutes at a time for no reason.
3. Be uninterested in anything that's not "deep."
4. Fixate on things that are "deep."
5. Resent any minute she's not sleeping, reading, or writing.
6. Obsessively quote poignant song lyrics.
7. Feel like every second is a minute, every minute is an hour, etc.
   

Except this fake Pre-Lithium Maddo still has all those fun side effects of Lithium.

It's gonna be a long day...




Your voice: like the sound of sirens to a house on fire...

The Alkaline Trio - Nose Over Tail

Dunno Why I Love This So Much

The sky's on fire again.
Run down the alleyway.
Lightning bolts again, we become fireflies
just flashing at the air.
Rattle garbage cans.
Prepare to be ravaged
by our lust burning mad,
the fire that we've become.
And I know you're under me,
but I must confess what's in my head...

Saves the Day - Firefly

I Love My Bosses

Today was my first paycheck as a full-time employee. This is a big deal for me, because I've never worked full time before (for some reason, spending 60+ hours a week on schoolwork doesn't count). It's also apparently a big deal for my bosses, who haven't had a full-time employee in a very long time. Also they think I'm amazing. So today, to celebrate, they took me out to a nice lunch. An hour of eating on the clock plus a free delicious meal? Hell yeah!

We were going to go to a Japanese steakhouse around here that's really good, but [Boss 2] didn't have time because she had to get back to court, so we went to Mercato (delicious Italian place) instead. Not only did I get my free meal and time out of the office, but they also handed over (along with my paycheck) a $50 bonus check just because they think I've been doing so well, and a stainless steel melon baller.

The melon baller needs explaining: last week, [Boss 2] and I were talking about cantaloupe, and how it tastes best in a fruit salad, especially if you can use a melon baller. I expressed my dismay about not having my own melon baller, and shared my memories of making fruit salad with my father when I was young. Lo and behold, [Boss 2] remembers and gets me a melon baller of my very own! What amazing bosses I have!

For all the griping I do about working full time and and not being very excited about the work I have to do and not having enough free time, I really am blessed to have this job.

In Memoriam

What happened seven years ago was awful. The feelings we felt then are indescribable. I understand the fear and the sorrow and the patriotism. I do not, however, understand the way this day has been used as a political tool ever since. If I don't give in to nationalistic fervor, then I don't care about what happened on 9/11 or the suffering our troops have endured. If want to end the war, then I don't care about freedom or fighting terrorism in the name of our lost loved ones. I'm disgusted with it. I love this country, and because I love this country, I'm not voting for the party that promotes war and does nothing substantial to keep us safer. I deplore the despicable scare tactics that have been used lately to imply that voting Republican is the only way to protect this nation. Here's how I choose to commemorate today:

"The New America"
Bad Religion

Do you know the cost of future misery?
Have you lost your sense of sustainability?
We are just a step away from realizing what we strive to be,
but we've got to break out from this insulated, blind, and lame senility.

Wake up the new America!
Transcend the mass hysteria.
Change is the thing you're wary of.
We need a new America!

Laurels, human triumph, bestowments from the past--
Victories don't mean a thing if they don't last!
We are just marching toward extinction with blinders on our eyes,
jeopardizing everything we've learned and come to realize! You call that wise?

Open your eyes, America!
See through the lies they tell to us!
Confront the fears that worry us!
We need a new America!

We don't have to be afraid to re-invent.
We've got to start to build, progress, and implement.
For when we take our fill, and never pay the price,
we only build ourselves a fleeting, false paradise.

You can live in staunch denial and mark me as your enemy,
but I'm just a voice among the throng who want a brighter destiny.
They say with me:

We are the new America!
This is the new America!
We are the new America!
This is the new America!

A Light in the Dark World of Pop Culture

For some reason, when "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" is on TV, Trevor and I find ourselves drawn to it. We never get the urge to watch it when it's not on, or record it when we know it'll be on. But for some reason, if it's on TV, we can't look away.

The modeling industry itself frustrates me. I see why it's necessary in our culture, but I'm not sure I like the way it's run or the messages it sends to young people (especially young women) about how they supposedly need to look. I also don't like the way that even the most beautiful models are always photoshopped, etc. Still, the show intrigues me. I think the key is that Trevor and I like to watch attractive, conceited people get yelled.

There's one character on the latest season that I've decided I absolutely adore. His name is Martin and he's deaf. This has been a huge controversy for reasons beyond me. Everyone loves working with him, his interpreter is awesome, and there have been no problems whatsoever on jobs. I like him because he has an amazing sense of humor.

For instance, in last night's episode, all of the models were in an uproar of drama because one of the male models has the personality of a fourteen-year-old. He is one of the most obnoxious people I have ever observed. He kept everyone up half the night by huffing around complaining that the tub was clogged even though there was another bathroom right down the hall he could have used. The next day people were muttering mutinously in small groups about him. Martin and another male model were discussing the issue together:

[Other Model]: "So what do you think of [Obnoxious Model]?"
Martin: (through interpreter) "He's horrible."
[Other Model]: "Really? He even bothers you?"
Martin: *emphatic* "He's so loud even I can hear him!" *snickers*
[Other Model]: *laughs* "That bad, huh?"
Martin: "Oh yeah. He's really obnoxious."
[Other Model]: "Did he keep you up last night, too?"
Martin: "Yeah! I've never met someone who talks that much in my life!"

As a note, Martin is completely deaf. That's why I think it's adorably hilarious.

There is also an interview with him on the website right now asking about his relationships with the other models:

[Interviewer]: "So who do you like best out of the other models?"
Martin: "I really like CC. I think she's amazing. She's not like any other girl I've ever met." *pauses for effect* "If I were straight I would totally ask her out." *grins*

Cynicality

We just went to the Supreme Court this morning ([Boss 1] and [Boss 2] have only gone to the Supreme Court three times now in their entire careers), and I thought it went really well. [Boss 1] and [Boss 2], however, are convinced despite feeling good about their case that we're going to lose. Why? Because the deck is always stacked against us. It doesn't matter how important the issue is or how easy it would be to fix it or how obnoxious the Prosecutor is being: the Court still doesn't want to change the law if it doesn't have to. Even if this has happened before and it will happen again.

My favorite lines from the proceedings: (Paraphrased because I don't remember the exact wording)

Chief Justice: "Counsel, that sounds like a pretty frightening loophole for the State."
[Boss 2]: "Yes, it does, Your Honor."

Chief Justice: "A cynical person might say that the State could use this kind of procedure to prevent the defendant from having an attorney before the trial begins."
Prosecutor: "Uh... well, that would be a very cynical argument, Your Honor..."

Prosecutor: "Well, if you look at Kistenmacher--"
Justice #6: "I wrote Kistenmacher, Counsel; I don't need you to quote it for me."

Here's a video of the proceedings for those who are interested!

Surviving the Monotony

I love being able to use chat programs at work.

peter: go now! Nap for justice.
me: sadly, i cannot. the work will not do itself
(that is, until i create a machine / magic spell...)
peter: this is where banging harry potter would come in handy
me: one would hope so
he's not as smart as hermione though
it may be time to resort to hot lesbian sex
for justice, of course
peter: if it must be done, then let it be done
me: is there anything hot lesbian sex can't solve?
peter: God I hope not.

Why Has No One Thought of This Before?

Trevor is reading Pride and Prejudice. And he has a theory:

"Man, Darcy hasn't been in the story for a while. What's he up to? Is he in London? You know, like, fighting crime? ... Dude! It all makes sense now! The mild-mannered wealthy gentleman Fitzwilliam Darcy secretly fights crime on the streets of London by night as--the Batman!"

And from there it only got worse.

"Think of the similarities! They're both rich and attractive, yet mysteriously unmarried. Their parents are dead. They were both basically raised by servants. They get all the ladies. We should make a chart!"

And worse...

"And Bingley, he's like a weird little fruity dude. He could be Robin!"

"To the Bat-coach!"

And worst:

"Also, if I were a rapper, my name would be Fitzwilly-D."



Also, he's taken to reenacting scenes from P&P after he reads them to make sure he's on the right track. He uses his hands as characters and does squeaky voices. My favorite was the scene where Darcy proposes for the first time: "OMG Elizabeth I love you marry me." "No, I hate you, you made Bingley not marry Jane!" "But I can explain!" "You're the last man I could ever marry!" "Fine I never liked you anyway I'll just write you a letter bitch."


I love him so much. I'll tell him after I stop laughing.

Goodbye Summer

Today is my last Monday off before full-time work sets in for me permanently. I am not excited about this prospect. I know it sounds pretty lazy of me to whine about a 40-hour week when so many hard-working people have much longer work weeks and don't complain. But there is something about my academic personality that just rails against getting up early and doing the same thing for eight hours a day five days a week. I'm always tired. I'm always bored. And it feels like every moment of my evenings and weekends is spent either cleaning up my house, running errands, or recuperating from my work week. And that's just me working 32 hours a week! With one extra day of work and one fewer day of weekend, how am I going to cope? I'm just not that type of person. I want variety. I want intellectual challenges. I want to be able to sleep in or nap every once in a while. I care about our work and I care about our clients, but I wish that didn't mean being at the office at 8:30 every day and leaving at 5:00 and feeling guilty about leaving early or taking a day off because I'm sick. I need to get my rats spayed--when am I going to have a Tuesday where I can go to Tacoma and do that? And Wren, Matt, Daryl, et al are all going back to school, to an intense graduate program. How many Saturdays will I actually be able to devote to going to Tacoma to see them? And will I really be able to make it up to watch Heroes at Comic House on Mondays? Ugh. No wonder people have mid-life crises.