Something's Gotta Give

Overwhelmed by everything, offended by everything, upset by everything; inspired by nothing, motivated by nothing, distracted by nothing; always tired, always cold, always uncomfortable.

This isn't depression. I'm not unhappy. In fact, when I can muster the energy to be excited I'm more than content. This is insidious lethargy. All my reactions are wrong, when I react at all. All I want is more sleep, more comfort food, more time away. Can't focus, can't remember. It takes effort to create a facial expression, a tone of voice.

Last night I dreamt that I was falling behind in classes because I couldn't remember the things I'd studied, couldn't concentrate on what we were learning. It was indescribably terrifying.

I need a different medication.